Post O' Plenty
April 25th

Bonus and a little S.O.S.

Dsc00006There's a little bonus amongst the pea sprouts in two of the pergola planters.  I almost yanked them last week, but they had that look -- you know, more substantial than your run-of-the-mill weed -- and now I've been rewarded with flowering friendlies that found their way into the organic soil mix we used.

I had a heck of the time with the photography -- this being in a spot that required contortions and, even then, it was impossible to actually see the LCD screen while the picture was taken -- you could call it "point-and-blindly-shoot" photography.  The camera kept wanting to focus on what was behind the plant, as if the plant weren't even there.  I finally threw down one of my crocheted squares for a backdrop, but it's still not all that great.

I can't help but think of Gladys.  Remember her?  The Stevens' nosy neighbor on Bewitched?  I'd have driven Gladys off the deep end long ago and I'm thankful everyday that I don't have neighbors of the nosy -- or any other -- kind on the east side of my house.

Dsc00008 Dsc00009

The square on the left is a "good" square, the square on the right a "bad," but I love that color combo and will defnitely use it again for "good." I'm undecided as to the final color combo and also the final shape, but it'll all come together.  I'm having fun with them.

I'm pointing at one of the Blue Angel hosta shoots that I uncovered last night -- they're huge!  I just love those things -- they get bigger every year.  This photo was taken in plain view of a potential Gladys or two, but I took my chances.

KnitsignalSending out an S.O.S.  I was going to post this the other day for my Saturday sky.  It's Bookish Wendy's knit-signal -- to be used in much the same way as the Commissioner would use the bat-signal to summon Batman & Robin -- which I've only had to use once before.  Initially, I was going to put it up full-screen -- not so much to summon anyone, but just to signify that there's a little distress.

Alison wants to move to Seattle this fall.  She says that she just needs to get out, go somewhere else... and her boyfriend is moving there in a few weeks.

Damn, that's far.

Can I take it back, what I said last week about her wings and going far?

The thing is, I understand completely -- probably more than she thinks I do -- and I'm doing okay.  Mostly.  I don't know if I'd have taken this so well a month ago.  I did the same thing -- but different.  The situation was different.  I moved to the Oregon coast after a breakup and had a pretty good job waiting for me.  Seattle with a boyfriend -- I didn't think it was that serious, move-across-the-country serious, and maybe it isn't... or maybe it is... I don't know.  Am I not seeing clearly?  I don't want her to go.  Did my mom feel this way?  I don't think I was as sensitive to her as Ali is to me.  I know she has to go.  What can I do?  This is growing up.  This is what Twenty can do.  This is the goal, pretty much, isn't it?  I wouldn't have done my job if she didn't ever want to leave.  I didn't really believe her when she told me, at age 8, that she'd live with us forever... or at 12 when she said she wanted to buy our house one day.

I'll be fine.  I know I'm in plenty of good company and I know I'll survive -- maybe with some heart-clutching panics and pangs and a few self-indulgent tears along the way.  This is nothing new, except that it's new to me.  They just grow up so damn fast -- soveryfast.  I knew it would happen eventually.  I guess.  I always thought this mom stuff would get easier as the kids got older.  Send hugs.



Breathe. You have also given her strong roots to make sure the wings don't take her to far from trhe garden. Many, many hugs coming your way dear Vicki - just send them back in 10 years when I need them.


Of course a Mom feels that way. It's a big step for you both! My heart goes out to you and I'm sending all the hugs I can muster (and that's a lot)!
The squares look fabulous and I love, love your colors. You could use almost anything to tie it together.




I bet there's knitters in Seattle who would look out for her in your stead.

pamela wynne

Aw, this must be tough! But at least she's moving to a friendly city with, as Beth pointed out, lots of awesome knitters to take her in. *hugs*


Sometimes I forget that they leave home one day.... *hugs*


I'm sending more hugs than even Margene. Seattle's not THAT far. Should've never let her become a barista. ;-)


I know we already talked about this and I'll tell you again - I get it. It hurts and it feels right for her, all at the same time. And you know, Hannah says all those same things about living in this house forever.


Hugs to you, Vickie, I spent the weekend with a dear friend, her youngest and my oldest are Seniors in H.S. this coming year. We talked a lot about them leaving the nest, I'm glad we have another year, I'm not ready now.


I lived with my parents, in Lisbon, until I was 22 as well. And after a breakup during that last year at college I decided to move to London - I totally understand what you are going through as I know that my mother did as well. I was going for a year and it's now been 10 years (5 years ago I moved to the USA so instead of a 3 hour flight, it's now an 8 hour flight!).

From a daugther's perspective - yes you should worry because it's only normal to, but you should also let her go, because it is only natural to. I was heartbroken when I left Portugal but I knew I also wanted to live in England, at least try and live abroad. I dreaded the idea of living with the big IF I had gone. Because I could always return home if I didn't like it or if it didn't work.

And even though I never moved back to Portugal, I know to this day, that if I ever needed to go back, my mother and I would pick up exactly where we left about 11 years ago!

I am not a mother yet, but I have this big fear that if and when I become one, that I can't be anywhere close to being as good and supportive mother as my mother has always been, despite the distance. (we talk on the phone EVERYDAY, and often more than once, so the distance is a mere circumstance!)

I am sure your girl will be fine, whether or wherever she moves. And so will you! One big hug!!


Industrial-strength hugs, my dear. It's not your job to live her life for her - it's your job to enable her to do it for herself. You've given her everything she needs, now she has to apply it. She's gonna be fine - and amazingly, unbelievably, so will you.

FWIW, I'm still waiting for my (25 and 27 year old) fledglings to leave the nest again - Katrina brought them back home to roost, and housing is super-expensive, so they're here to stay for awhile at least.

Sharon Plavnick

A Detroit girl, I followed my boyfriend to Hawaii when I was 19. I marvel now at how well my parents handled it. But the important thing is that because they let me go, I freely came home when I was ready. You'll be fine and so will she. Truly.


Wings and roots -- it's the wings that are hardest to see used. But our kids need both and if they have them it means we did our job more or less right. {{{{hugs}}}} to you.


Hugs - and I hear there are a lot of good LYS in Seattle, plus maybe some coffee. Sounds like a good excuse for a monthly (?) road trip to me.


Cute squares.


Take heart. All winged creatures need to return to the comfort of home in time.


I felt every word of that. With a 21 and 20 year old I know exactly how you feel. I've turned into a much better listener and we are all slowly becoming friends. It's really a lovely transition between the tears.


Big warm hugs.


Hugs to you -- from Seattle. I'm not THAT much older than your daughter (about 8.5 years), and I'm in grad school at the UW. I moved out East for college, stayed out there longer because of an unpleasant break-up, and was taken in by a number of wonderful friends and strangers for all those little holidays I couldn't afford to fly home. It also made me appreciate my home so much more when I finally did move back. I needed to see something else to be able to fully appreciate the town I grew up in, and now that I'm back, my parents and I have never been closer. I'm happy to talk to either or both of you about options in Seattle and environs. It is a great town, particularly for someone her age.

lynne s of Oz

You've done a good job. Ali is ready to leave and you have to let her go. She'll come back, maybe not forever but that is the way it should be too. *hugs*
Happy birthday for all of your daughters.


Your girls are all great and you are doing a fantastic job, sending you HUGE hugs....


Is this what I have to look forward to? You raised a self sufficient girl who has the confidence to use her wings. Good on you.Just the same: {{{HUGS}}}


Seattle?? shall I come over to help you nail her shoes to the floor? and hide her purse?


this was me: "Seattle?? shall I come over to help you nail her shoes to the floor? and hide her purse?"

Not cara. she left all of her info saved on my browser! I wonder how many comments I have left under the guise of Cara? ooooo, I could have some fun with this ....


My mom was upset when I moved out of state - at age 30. 10 years after I had moved out of the house. I guess you feel that way no matter how old they are.




Emily Holbert-Kellam

Hugs to you.

I had a difficult time as a teenager; left home at 16, moved in with my boyfriend at 17 (we've been together ever since--sometimes you get lucky!), generally had a hard time connecting with my father. But when I moved away from my hometown at 26, as hard as it was, it somehow strengthened our family ties more than simple time had managed. Closeness in space is good; closeness of the heart is boundless.


Yup, I was one of those wayward youth as well - left home at 17. It was hard and it was unhappy a lot of the time, but going made me stronger and wiser. Sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. She's very lucky to have such a caring mom covering her back. Hugs, Vicki!


you know, it may not be that it's "that serious" but that it just... gives her a good reason. I considered moving to Baltimore because of a boyfriend... not that it was "that serious", but i needed a chance. i wanted a fresh start, an experience, something knew. and knowing he was gonna be there gave me a kind of "safety net"... that even though everything else in my life would change, he would be the same.

ok so it never happened, but that was for like 20 other reasons. i think as long as she doesnt DEPEND on him to make her happy in a new place, this can be a really cool, healthy way to "try out" a new place. heh.


Oh, Damn. I only just read this. My Boyo's in Germany, and my Girlie's been away, far away, a lot. Even after all this time of them going to live abroad, it's hard to get used to. I do talk to the Boyo several times a week via the internet, so it doesn't feel like he's that far away most of the time. But I do worry that he won't come back. That he'll find a sweetheart over there or something really compelling to do and I'll be the far-away mom forever. But, on the bright side, having them in another place is an excuse to travel. I can't go a much more than six months without seeing them. And I've been all over the world on visits.

Sending hugs.


Hugs to you. I had a hard time reading this, and my girl's only 12.

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