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08 November 2006

Decisions, decisions

I have posted more pictures of myself on this blog in the past month or so than I have in all the time since I started blogging, so I really need not post a "before" picture here, then.  Do stay tuned for the "after."  Kate made back-to-back appointments at the hair salon for us today, and I have no idea what's going to transpire in that chair.  But first, there's...

Unfinished Business (please see the Nov. 6th post if you're not sure why we're on question 39.)

39.  IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE DECISION TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING TODAY?

Go ahead, just ask a friend for a random question and see what you get.  This one -- not even close to 'What's the last thing you ate?' -- came fully loaded.  ; )  I should have specified True or False -- or multiple choice, at least.  I've been practically paralyzed, wondering where to begin, or from whence to leap with the extrapolations for this little exercise.

Holy moly.  The difficulty begins with "decision."  To be perfectly honest, I feel that I've made relatvely few true decisions in my life.  I've led mostly a reactionary life -- something happens, make a choice (quick!) -- not so much decisions made (as in taking into consideration, making judgment, coming to a well-thought-out conclusion).  The answer to Question 16, "...lack of motivation, drive, passion," plays in well here -- in fact, this is exactly what I was thinking about with that answer.  I can most definitely be motivated, I've demonstrated drive, and I'm a Scorpio for Pete's sake -- PASSION is my middle name -- but always on a small scale or very focused, not in terms of "what am I going to do with my life" kind of stuff.  I always wished it would come to me like a lightning bolt -- THIS is what I want to do, THIS is what I've been waiting for, THIS is what I was MEANT to do...

If I get past that part, then the question becomes something like, "If you weren't married with children, what would you be doing?"  It isn't any easier to answer, given all of the above.  I guess I'm not very goal-oriented, always living for today more than tomorrow -- which is evident in my retirement savings thus far (though I have been working on that more these past few years -- so in essence, I am working today for tomorrow, pretty much -- and encouraging even my quite young daughters to NOT do as I did, START EARLY!).  When I moved into one of my first apartments, my boyfriend at the time gave me a housewarming gift -- a very practical tool set (the BEST first housewarming gift ever) and a kind of funny card with a 15-year projection calendar -- or something like that -- it was "kind of funny" because I know this particular boyfriend was also quite serious about the future plans and goals and where he wanted to be in five years.  I always thought I was doing good if I could project five minutes.  Yeah, we had a WHOLE lot of fun together for a while, and it was even this >< close to most serious for a minute, but we really weren't compatible for the long-term.  ; )

Anyway, I suppose I could blather on and on and on, but I will make a decision to wind this up.  The answer is...  I don't know.

Comments

It's best to not speculate anyway. Live in the moment and enjoy where you are when you're there...in the now.

Thats a really tough question, I don't know either. I like Margenes answer.
Can't wait to see the "new" you!
My parcel arrived today...THANK YOU LOTS xx

I don't think any of us could know the answer to that question. And I know exactly what you mean about making decisions. I don't remember making a whole lot of conscious decisions either but there is one in particular that stands out. It was when I decided to marry Dale. I was very aware of what I was deciding and how it would change my life. And for the first time, ever, I felt like it really was ALL up to me.

It is a tough question. And it's also bogus. I guess some people are lucky enough to plot out their whole lives and actually get them to play out that way, but I don't know anyone like that. Life is just a series of contingencies. Kinda like natural selection. We can't predict the future and yet we must respond to events in our lives. Each choice we make sets the stage for the next response to the next event and nothing about who we were when we were 21 could possibly inform how we would choose at 45 or 50. I shudder to think what my life would be like if it actually turned out like I had hoped when I was just out of high school. I probably would have turned to drugs or something. As tough as life has been at times, it could have been worse. I like to think that I eventually grew into a person who made better decisions for herself and her life, but it took a while and a bit of a winding road. I think it's our experiences that shape us more than our dreams. But honestly, who knows.

If you're happy now, consider your planning done! Seems ya doin just fine! Can't wait to see the after photos! If the salon "person" has lots of tattoos and chains on,
RUN VICKI RUN!!!

I too have always envied the people whole know exactly what they want to do and are supposed to do. I feel like I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure that out.

Perhaps the reason you're having trouble thinking of a better way to spend your life is that you're spending it the best way possible for you. My siblings have "careers" and are "upwardly mobile" - not me. I work fulltime nurturing infants in a daycare, and consider myself lucky to be able to touch their little lives, then come home in the evening and enjoy my family's company, ulcer-free. I wouldn't trade my little life (happily married, 2 grown daughters, 6 cats!) in suburbia for anyone else's.

Be sure to share pics of your new 'do'!

Happy belated Birthday!!!!Hope you had a fabulous day!
It's so funny to think what your life would be like if you didn't travel down the path you did--so much of who I am now is because of the path I have taken. I don't think I'd be the same person at all....

you know what? while you may not have answered the question, i sure did get to know a lot more about you, and i think that's the whole point of these memes. i read your post kinda fast (as if you were talking fast to me) and it felt very stream-of-consciousness.

I can relate so much! Decision to get married and have kids? I don't really remember making one. I actually am quite sure I didn't, I reacted. A habit I can't seem to shake, or I would be doing something different at the moment. And now because of all of the just living for today and reacting we are in a place where we have to make a decision, a big one. And I am way too emotional to make them logically. I wish I was a better planner, and I too wish that I had the AHA moment, something I really wanted to do so badly that I would do anything to accomplish it. The other thing-I wish I didn't see so much of it in my girls. They sort of roll with it too, and luckily it has worked for them so far. There will come a point though, when they need to step it up a bit or end up like me, (not that I am not totally in love with my family and I wouldn't trade them for anything) with kids and a house and no career to love and go back to. I want better for them.

this is why I love you --- the perfect answer! it would be my answer too. It's nice to know that there are lots of us who really have no idea how we got here, no matter how happy we are that we are!

You were honest instead of throwing out some sort of canned answer... who really knows?! You could have planned out carefully and then something magical or terrible could have come along and changed it all. You have probably figured out this far into my comment that I am no better off in the retirement planning dept. but I have lived a life that I have loved and I honestly couldn't imagine a life without children, so if I had been unable to bear them myself, would have probably adopted.

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