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19 July 2006

You are very sleepy...

Oh, was my ass dragging yesterday afternoon!  Every ounce of energy went towards keeping my eyelids open and eyeballs focused.  I had to pick Katie up after work, but also had to wait for a few minutes, so she took my order and I enjoyed a Mocha Frappuccino Light caffeine/cool fix (my second in as many days) (I roughly figure about 2 points per WW) and knit a few rounds on my Trekking sock.  I missed my WW weigh-in last night, but hopped on the scale at home this morning and, depending on its location on the floor, I may have lost 6 pounds or I may have lost 4.2 or I may have lost...  I'm gonna call it a loss and be happy.

The Barista Sisters were both out the door before me this morning!  I go to work early by most standards (I am at my desk by 6:45 a.m.) and my daughters like to sleep in, so this is BIG.  ; )  There was a family emergency where Ali works, so she's opening/working the next three days instead of having them off, as she'd thought.  And that's okay; plans for the days off changed, anyway.  Katie had to open today, too, but hers is earlier -- she had to BE there at 5:00 -- that translates to a 3:30 alarm -- that's A.M.  And, wouldn't you know, I got up to go to the bathroom at 3:15... Maddy'd left every light on in her wake, so I went downstairs... it was 3:22 and Katie wasn't up yet... but would be soon... I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, knowing that she'd be up within minutes... wondering if I'd hear her... needing to make sure she got up... so I waited.  I decided to check my email, read a couple of blogs -- I read them very closely, too, since I didn't even have my glasses on!

Yeah.  It didn't help to wait.  I still didn't really fall back asleep before my own alarm went off -- I tossed and dozed and hit snooze a few times so I could do it some more.  Watch for more ass-dragging this afternoon.

I forgot to make special mention of my new camera lens cap cord, visible in yesterday's "kaleidoscope" photo.  I'd been using plain old, knotted string and, while very serviceable, it left me wide open to ridicule and I finally had enough!  I made the new one myself, using these instructions for Twisted Cord.  I've been wanting to try this, with the finishing of Fibonacci in mind (for use in making frog closure or using as trim), and it was very easy to do, but not quite right for Fib.  (I just had to try.)  I have made myself a little cheat sheet from various sources for making Applied I-Cord and found some yarn to use for seaming and I've tucked it all into the Fib project box, and it means that I'm moving ever closer.  My enthusiasm for other projects is waning, but definitely ramping up again for this one!

I'm also excited about Sivia Harding's Victorian Shoulderette -- I ordered it on Friday and it was in my mailbox yesterday, nothing to complain about there!  Three suitable yarns come immediately to mind... four, maybe five... I'll have to look.  I found the appropriate circular needle and put it on the table by my chair this morning.  I'll bet this is fairly quick to knit -- and it's so pretty!

* * * * * *

Yesterday, Chelle asked, "What's helped?"  To what do I attribute the success in quitting smoking?  I couldn't really come up with an answer right away, and I thought about it a lot yesterday.

I had a long talk with a friend last night -- she went to her first AA meeting in years yesterday morning.  A lot of things have led her to this point, including family pressure, and we've talked frequently all along.  She used to feel guilty if she smoked while we talked on the phone.  ; )  She's been with me the whole way and we've talked a lot about the planning and preparation, why I smoked and why I miss it, why I don't give in -- even when, so many times in the last several months, almost anyone would have "understood."  Different addictions with many similarities.  She cried when I admitted that one thing that's helped is that I don't want to disappoint anyone -- and that the people I'm most worried about aren't necessarily the ones you'd think.  I'm most worried about Ann, who I'd never even met when I decided to throw my hat in her quit ring; all those people who were so supportive last year -- Cara with her Care Package of straws and gum sunflower seeds and DumDums (which I shared with Ann); they're Sarah and Lynne and Yvette who make tears spring to my eyes when I think of their thoughtfulness and encouragement.  They're people who, for the most part, were or continue to be strangers except by blogging.  They're not my husband or my mother or my kids... not those three kids who pleaded with me daily, for years, to quit smoking.  It's not them.  My friend was SO relieved -- she thought she was weird or warped for worrying more about disappointing strangers than her own family and friends!  It has to be that we know their love is unconditional -- sure, they'd get mad and maybe not talk to us for a while, but we know that they'd still love us and care for us -- always -- they'd eventually forgive us and come around.  And I guess, in the end, that helps, too.

Blah, blah, blah.  Thanks for reading.  ; )

Comments

Just catching up, Mack is looking super cute, I love it when babies bum shuffle before they walk,
Congratulations on your 16 months smoke free, well done, encouragement is what imaginary friends are for!
I love the victorian shoulderette, I want to do one for cooler weather, can't wait to see your yarn choice.

Vicki, you are the greatest. Your honesty and personality are so refreshing. I'm so glad you're still on the wagon!

Unconditional love is a weird thing, isn't it? It makes us treat our families like crap, I think! Cuz we know they will love us anyway.

You could never disappoint me. I love you no matter what!

That said, I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU!

I'M ROFLing over here. "depending on the placement of the scale on the floor...." Heeheeehehe.

I've NEVER done that. Riiiiiiiight. LOLOLOL

Now I'm going to remember this post forever, and that's a good thing. Every time I'm tempted to sneak an extra bite of cake or an extra handful of chocolate chips, I'll say, "I don't want to disappoint Vicki." Yay!

That was just so well said. The things that inspire us are never what we expect them to be. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments.

I completely know what you mean about the worry of disappointing someone if you started smoking again. I quit three years ago, and whenever I think of picking up a cigarette I tell myself, "Stacie if you smoke, you are just going to show Mom that quitting is impossible." That holds me accountable, and I'm happy to say that I have not slipped up a single time in three years. I am happier to say that my mom has been smoke free for a year!!!! Congrats again!!!!

"I don't want to disappoint Vicki". I think Norma has coined a new phrase.

I'm so impressed with the 16 months. And as for me, I'm dragging my ass this afternoon, having woken up at 3:15 a.m. and not gone back to sleep since...

I feel exactly the same way ---- awhile ago, I told a longtime friend about not wanting to fail Vicki, she got somewhat insulted. And then decided she owes you a debt of gratitutde!

Vicki, this was a wonderful read. I understand about unconditional love; I finally "get" that my family is always there for me and "loves me anyway", no matter what I am thinking of myself at the time. I trying hard to take care of myself for my own sake more than some outer ideal. I AM envious of your steady weight loss; stress has taken me from the close-to-ideal weight I dropped down to a year ago, back up to needing, once again, to lose ten pounds.

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