My horoscope says that I'm to "radiate serenity" today. I don't think that's hard for me. I may be a seething cauldron on the inside, but most days you'd think I'm a little teapot. I may have had a little premonition. I was quite serene last night as I ripped the back of Williamsro for the second time. I had run out of yarn and joined new, knit a dozen stitches, had one more overall look and just slipped it off the needles. Problems with tension, mainly that bothersome stitch that follows a cable, and especially the eight-stitch cables. Sometimes I try too hard, you know? The more I try to tighten it up, the looser it is! It's happened before and I don't understand. But I'm serene... I started from scratch for the third time and I really and truly do think it's working (fingers are crossed nevertheless).
I'm neither a short nor a tall teapot, but I have become a bit more of a stout teapot in the past six months. I don't like it. I attribute it mostly to a change in metabolism since quitting smoking; my eating habits have not really changed. I'm at my most stout, except for pregnancy, and I've been here once before -- 17 years ago. We were winding up a visit with friends, a couple and their young son, on Vashon Island, WA; we'd all gathered in front of the blueberry bushes in the back yard to tape a group rendition of "The More We Get Together" on our videocamera. That went well and you just can't go wrong with Raffi, but the closing scene is me walking toward the camera to turn it off. I have a one-year-old Ai on my hip -- my very ample hip, and how I ever thought those pants were flattering is beyond me, and it was more like walloomping toward the camera. Anyway, after my first viewing of that tape, I picked up the phone and found a Weight Watchers meeting.
It took me nine months to lose 50 pounds. And then I got pregnant again. Well, what can you do? I came through that one pretty well, though, and eventually found a comfortable spot on the scale, admittedly much higher than "goal weight," but I felt good and held pretty much steady for the last 17 years. Obviously, I didn't like how it looked or felt then -- and even less now. It's changed. That extra 20 pounds is sitting not so gracefully on a very different body -- older, less toned, more prone to gravitational shifts, if you know what I mean, and it's a different kind of fat.
My mother has had recent success with WW and I wish I could go to meetings with her, but I can't. She came with me the whole time 17 years ago, even though her heart wasn't in it and the scale barely budged, just for moral support. I still have all my materials, though, and gathered them up on Sunday. I borrowed what I was missing from Mom, and took a look at my old progress chart (complete with pictures!) and I'm going to give it a go. Perhaps the change in season is putting me in the mood for change, too.