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14 March 2005

A little less puffin'

In order to focus, I think it's best to write chronologically.  My brain's just buzzin'!

First, I have to mention Ai and her new job.  She started a week ago today as a cashier at a regional retail store.  The first words out of her mouth, big smile on her face, when she walked in the door last Monday were about a "hot guy" who also just started.  On Tuesday night, they went out to coffee together after work.  He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs, he's a senior at another high school, he wants to be a doctor, they like a lot of the same things.  Oh, and he's HOT!  Sizzle.  On Friday night, she and her friends met him and his friends at Perkins.  It's so cute!

Okay...  Kt came home on Friday for the weekend and I'm sure I must have done some knitting on Friday night.

Saturday was a big day.  Thankfully, there was some over-scheduling at work and Kt got out a little early, so our visit to the LYS was a bit more leisurely.  She found two more hanks of the Point 5 to knit the scarf for the guy at school.  She looked at some other things for herself.  That girl!  Talk about a yarn snob.  She fell in love with the Prism yarns -- Cool Stuff, Wild Stuff, Whatever Stuff They Had Hanging!  The LYS had 'em for around $90, but she was checking ebay as soon as we got home.

I left my cigarettes at home.  FYI:  I don't smoke in my home, and I don't smoke in the car when the grrs are with me.  What I'd normally do on an outing such as this, is smoke between the door of the LYS and the car, or whatever.  On Saturday, I left 'em home...

What did I buy?  Three balls of Galway Worsted for the Spring Midwest Masters classes -- green, light green, white.  I bought three balls of some other Galway with flecks of color and my intention for that is something Dulaan-related.  I also bought three skeins of Silk Garden for Opptuna, as planned.  And I looked at what was available for Williamsro.  Oooooh, I love Cash Iroha!!  They had very limited colors on -hand, but I really just wanted to check it out.  Yum.  I've been looking at colors online, and my intention is to give Sandy a shout and buy the supplies for this sweater (or whatever sweater I finally decide on) from Knitorious, anyway.

Oh, The Opinionated Knitter jumped into my arms, too.

We weren't ready to go home yet, so decided to go have coffee.  Then we went out to see what Ai looked like at work.  We also bought some Easter candy.  Since store policy forbids her to check out family members, we took our stuff to the hottie's lane!  (She's right, he's cute.)

I must have finished knitting Goldie's front pocket flap on Friday, because I picked up the stitches and started knitting the back on Saturday night.  This was while Kt was casting on for the Newsboy Cap from Stitch 'n Bitch Nation!  Her first time knitting with circs, stitch markers, making cables -- I taught her to do 'em without a cable needle -- eventually, DPNs.  She's pretty darn excited.

On Sunday, I worked for a few hours at my local antique mall.  I left my cigarettes at home then, too.  Normally, I'd pop outside for one or two.  I started reading my new book (see above), instead!  I actually tried knitting a Ken-type Dulaan Hat, but wasn't sure I liked how it looked.  Then Kt needed to borrow the honkin' needles I was using; after I yanked 'em, she told me how cute the hat was turning out.  I'll have to try again.  I'm feeling muddled and impaired.

I cooked again last night -- full-fledged lasagna!!  I was able to get started early enough that Kt could have supper with us before heading back to school, and that meant that she could also take some with her!

I also cast on, twice, for Opptuna.  I'll be ripping it out again because the gauge on the back swatch is off.  I think I need a bigger needle...  Ack.

So now it's Monday.  I've been reading comments and emails all through the weekend -- offers to take my middle-of-the-night calls, if needed; so many ex-smoking knitters (who knew?) telling me how many, how long ago and how they gave 'em up; links to journals and profiles and resources; other smoking knitters thinking about quitting, too (do it, do it, do it).  Thank you.  I would never have guessed how much it helps to hear about the struggles and successes of others and have them cheering.  I forgot how much it helps to go through this crap with someone.

You Can Do It!

Anyway, Monday.  After today, there are only three more days until I don't smoke another cigarette.  Ever.  Ever, ever, ever.  I told my mom on Saturday and she's beside herself with glee.  I told Ai & Mdd last night, too.  Actually, Kt did the telling.  I couldn't do it.  I couldn't [expletive deleted] tell them what they've always wanted to [expletive deleted] hear because I felt like such a stupid [expletive deleted] dumbass for taking so damn [expletive deleted] long to tell them the number one [expletive deleted] thing they've ever wanted to [expletive deleted] hear from me.  What a fucking idiot.

Back to Monday (you see how this goes?) and I'll try to wrap it up...  Nurse Becky's words have stuck.  Though I didn't completely stop smoking in my car yet, I did have only one cigarette on the way to work when I normally have three; I wouldn't allow myself to light up until I passed a particular exit.  I usually have a smoke on my way to the mailbox, usually twice each morning.  Today I separated those activities; I went to the mailbox, I had a cigarette, not at the same time.  This is such a ramble, I don't recall whether I've mentioned that I have been smoking fewer cigarettes; Saturday was better than Sunday, but Sunday was better than Friday, etc.

On Wednesday, I'll be going shopping for The Patch, juice and water, sweet chewy candy (I never feel like having a cigarette after an orange Starburst!), maybe some licorice, definitely some chocolate.

Sometimes I think there's just enough time to plan and prepare, and at other times I think there's too much.  Some of it is good -- what do I need to get to help deal with cravings?  Some of it I wonder about, but I guess being hyper-aware of every single cigarette, knowing that people are watching me now, is okay.

All together now: I don't want cigarettes to be the boss of me!!

Comments

Yahoo for you!!!
I'm so proud of you for making this big decision! And how brave of you to do it so public. I know you can do it because I've seen some of your knitting. If you can start and finish St. Brigid, you can do ANYTHING!

Yeah Vicki!!!!! You are so strong! When we go to Midwest Masters, I'm treating you to my favorite Creme Brulee in the whole world (at Zuppas in Neenah). Congratulations!!!

I've always wanted my parents to quit, so I can identify with your girls. You are doing an amazing thing!

Oh, and I tagged you for one of those question-thingys at my blog. (somecallthemsticks.blogspot.com)

Have a good day!

I am blaming you for the purchase of a book and yarn today, well its got to be someones fault and Opptuna will be sooo cute for my niece!
Well done you for changing your habits over the weekend and I am sure you will do great when you stop.
Have a great day.

You sound like you're off to a well thought out good start on quitting! You've certainly been busy blogging; I had to scroll down quite a ways to catch up on the news. BTW that Williamsro pattern is my kind of sweater. Yummy.

you go girl!! I am most impressed with you leaving the smokies home on your big day out!! bravo! Three more days and that's it!! we can do this --- I know we can!

Good luck! You can do it!

A friend of mine has been smoke-free for a month now (after trying to quit many times and making it only a few days). She said that one of her key substitutes is baby carrots by the handful; they actually helped her lose weight!

We're all cheering for you.

WOW! Kudos to you for quitting smoking! Have you investigated Nicorette as well? Norm found it very helpful when he quit. You can manage your intake of nicotine by the amount of gum you chew (which helps to keep you distracted), and as time goes on, you can just break off smaller and smaller pieces of the gum. Have you tried to quit before? Warn your family about going through the "angry" stage! People warned me that Norm would go through a period where he would fly off the handle for no reason and all, and I told them "No...he's so easy going, that would never happen..." I was so wrong. He slammed cupboards, had to go for long walks in which he stomped all the way, and had a very low tolerance level for life in general. We laugh about it now, but it was a "stage". Congratulations Vicki! Don't let cigarettes be the boss of you!

Oh to be a kid working in a retail store with a hot guy! Thinking good thoughts for you!

How cute that you guys went to see "what Ali looked like at work". I remember my sisters coming in the drugstore I worked at "just to see what I looked like".

Good for you, Vicki for hanging tough with the smoking. You can and will do it. I suggest planning a fall trip to Rhinebeck as a reward. :)

Fantastic on all counts, leaving the dreaded ciggies at home, being so positive and boyfriends. Big cheers from across the Atlantic!

Yeah, Rhinebeck in the fall!!!! I second that motion...

Sounds like you're doing good..getting ready...the support of your family will be a great help to you...

And the lasagna? Sounds heavenly...I'm going to make some this week!

Congratulations to you, Vicki, for your decision, and your bravery in declaring it. I'm a long-time lurker, and while I don't smoke, I definitely need to lose weight. I've been reading your blog, and you've motivated me to start planning my weight loss strategy, something I've never done before. Is it too much pressure if I tell you that I'm going to keep you in mind as a good example as I try to do something difficult along with you? Best of luck to you along your road to quitting, and know that there are many knitters who are behind you & beside you for support.

YOU can do it! I am proud, miss!

Way to go Vicki! I am so proud of you for all the steps you are taking to make yourself successful! And let us know what you think of the Opinionated Knitter. My mom has two sweaters in there.

WooHoo..........you go girl!!!!!

You can do it!!!!! You have so many people behind you. And especially for your kids. =)

All the steps you are taking in preparation are going to help you a lot. I didn't mention this before but I took up knitting again when I quit after a 20 year break. It helped a lot to keep my hands busy. I also liked plastic straws cut in half. I chewed many many boxes of straws. :)

I'm SO PROUD of YOU! And I'm sure your girls are too! What does your dh say?

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

I am so sure of it. You are well on your way. And I wasn't kidding about the phone calls! ;-)

I was scared to admit that I had quit smoking too. It's so scary because it makes it so real! You can do it! I'm proud of you!

You are so smart to get prepared and plan for the likely trouble times - you will be so happy for your kids when you do this and they will be so proud of their stong, beautiful mom!!

i'm LOVING the [expletive deleted] paragraph too fucking much.

hang in there--you're gonna do fantastic with this whole quittin' thing!

I am very impressed and proud of you for giving up smoking. I can only imagine how hard it must be. My bad habit is biting my nails (I'm not equating the two, only saying that I have my own different addiction of sorts). I've never been able to stop doing that. Maybe now is a good time. *sigh* Anyway, you have my complete support and admiration!

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